Chloe Merritt likes to find humor in her trauma. When she was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension in 2022, she liked to playfully add “PH” in front of words that started with “F.”
When preparing her submission for the PHA 2024 Conference theme contest, Merritt continued that practice. Eventually, the word “fearless” came to mind and she instinctively incorporated “PH” as a tribute to her growing fearlessness in grabbling with her PAH.
Merritt’s submission came in second place for the conference theme contest, but it emerged as the theme for this year’s Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month: “Live PHearlessly.” The Pulmonary Hypertension Association selected the theme because it encourages people affected by PH to show they don’t let PH control their lives.
“Living fearlessly represents me and how I want to live,” says Merritt, who previously shared her story for PHA’s Right Heart Blog.
Merritt was a senior in college when her pulmonary hypertension symptoms began. As a volleyball player, she struggled to catch her breath during practice and games. Off the court, she constantly felt fatigued. As her symptoms worsened, they affected her daily life. A few months after she graduated from college, she was admitted to the ER because of severe breathing difficulties. In September 2022, she was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension.
“Being a 22-year-old and already having the pressure to find your way in life was hard enough, but now I have a chronic illness? That was a lot to process,” Merritt says. “I had to figure out my new life and what that was going to look like.”
Overcoming fear
The now 23-year-old clarifies that being fearless doesn’t mean having no fear. It means not letting your fear get the best of you.
Living with PH, it’s easy to fall into the “what if” cycle, Merritt says. Initially, she questioned her future, and her fear of the unknown created questions that constantly raced through her mind: “What if my medicine doesn’t work?” “What if I can’t balance a full-time job with my illness?” “What if something happens to my pump while I’m visiting a friend?”
“Your mindset is super important if you are going to live fearlessly,” Merritt says. “Knowing pain is temporary and the hard times aren’t permanent, can help you keep going. You’re not alone and lean on other people to help you through those hard times.”
Gradually, Merritt learned to accept problems as they arose, rather than worrying about what could happen.
“I couldn’t let the unknown stop me,” Merritt said. “I could’ve just let this illness consume me, but I didn’t. I started pushing myself to be the best I can be and getting through those hard days has allowed me to accomplish all that I have.”
Living PHearlessly
With the support of her friends, family and support group, Merritt started taking her life back.
In April, she walked in the Team PHenomenal Hope 5K in Pittsburgh, the first race since her diagnosis. She raised over $3,000 for pulmonary hypertension research. Since then, she participated in PHA’s Columbus O2breathe Walk on Oct. 8. “I actually enjoy exercising now,” she says.
Being on a low sodium diet has increased her interest in nutrition. She enjoys finding new recipes and researching low sodium spices to incorporate. Most recently, Merritt became a “plant mom, starting with a succulent and increasing her indoor garden over the past couple weeks.
Most importantly, Merritt recommends talking to a therapist or support group because dealing with a chronic illness can be mentally exhausting.
“Taking it day by day is super important, and I recommend leaning on the people who want to help you,” Merritt says. “Be open about how you’re feeling. Obviously on those hard days, it’s easy to feel alone and like nobody knows what you’re going through.”
Embracing her early 20s, Merritt prioritizes her friendships and family time and is grateful she can pursue her career, especially since having a chronic illness already feels like a full-time job. She acknowledges that there are hard days, and that the journey to acceptance isn’t linear. Nevertheless, she keeps reminding herself that she can get through it.
“Pushing through those fears you have and not letting this illness take control of your life is what I’ve learned,” Merritt says. “Don’t let it define you as a person. Don’t let your fears stop you from living the life you deserve.”
Throughout November, join Merritt in showing how you live PHearlessly with PH. Participate in our PH Awareness Month activities, such as CTEPH Awareness Day on Nov. 8 and PHA’s Advocacy Day of Action on Nov. 15, to help increase understanding of PH. Share your story.
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